Mommy's Project 52:3 Challenging

 "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." 

-Mother Teresa

When we found out we were expecting our little Jellybean (aka Charlie) we were thrilled.  Then we did the math...eighteen months.  Our boys would only be eighteen months apart.  Not quite Irish twins, but we would have two babies under two years old.  But, we knew we could handle it.  Beau has been such a joy.  And while he has never been a napper...never...not since birth...he has been a relatively easy baby. 

Then came Charlie.  He was is perfect.  When the doctor held him over the curtain, it was deja vu.  He looked just like Beau.  I thought, "Perfect."  And, in those first two weeks he was.  In fact, he was an easier baby than Beau.  Hallelujah!  God likes us. 

And then something changed.  Our sweet, sleepy baby became cranky and gassy and often inconsolable.  People would make comments...often using the "c" word - Colic.  I can't begin to tell you how frustrated I got when people said, "colic."  Looking back, it's silly.  But colic is so, well, non-descript.  It's so vague.  So ambiguous.  And when things are vague and ambiguous, that means there's no easy answer. 

This is where I get really honest, during those weeks of colic, I thought I might lose my mind.  Forget post partum depression - that's when you're sad and weepy and can't articulate why.  This was going to be full blown psychosis!  And I knew exactly why.  He cried and cried and cried.  There seemed to be no soothing him.  What had happened to my happy baby? 

I understand now that as far as conditions go, colic is not particularly serious.  But, when it is 3:00 a.m. and you are in the throes of inconsolable, sobbing, heaving crying and for the past month you have been averaging four non-consecutive hours of sleep at night, well, nothing seems more serious. 

Sure, Billy was wonderful during this time.  He helped with Charlie and more than anything, he let me vent and vented alike.  But, it was a little different...he just doesn't get that "Mommy guilt."  Who can blame him...afterall he's not a mommy. 

I talked about the situation a little with my mom and my mommy friends.  But I don't think I ever really let on just how bad I felt.  Why not?  Surely someone else had felt this way before.  Someone out there had turned off the monitor, even if just to get silence for a few minutes.  Someone out there had bit down on their child's rubber pacifer in lieu of screaming.  Someone had looked up adoption agencies.  Ok, I'm kidding on that last one. 

The other day I read an article on just this topic.  It felt good to read the article and know that some mommies were in the same boat as me, and some were much worse off.  (Well, I didn't feel better that some ladies out there were worse off; but it kind of put things in perspective for me.)  And then I started reading the comments.  Some were just atrocious.  One comment had a mother admitting to being frustrated with her children.  The next would criticize her and tell her to "man up" so to speak.  I made a vow then and there to do two things.  First, I will always be brutally honest with my mommy friends.  And second, I will never judge.  (I actually had previously made these promises to myself, but they seem far more important now.)  The article nailed it.  Being a mother is incredibly challenging.  What's worse, it can be very lonely. 

On a sidenote - In the comments one mom spoke of her momtourage.  OMG.  I'm not 100% sure what that is - but I know I want one.  If you like to be a founding member of my momtourage, let me know.  I'm taking applications now.  ;) 

As for Charlie, just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, something changed.  It was like a lightbulb went off.  The gas, well, it passed.  (Pun intended.)  I decided not to buy stock in Mylicon.  A few days later, we noticed he was impossibly happy and giggly!  And then a few days later, another breakthrough...he slept through the night. 

I recognize that we'll have our good days and our bad days, but it is so nice to know that this stage is behind us.  Again, considering that I have such healthy children, it seems so trivial to be upset about colic.  But, I can now admit, it was the most challenging part of parenting so far. 

Now on to potty training...

Future BFFs

Drew and Beau

*And don't worry Core, Barrett, Kaitlyn, Linley, etc...Beau can have more than one BFF. 

Four Months!

Mr. Charlie turned four months on Sunday.  So what is our little guy doing now that he's 1/3 of the way to his first birthday (and yes, I have already started planning the big day, if only in my head). 

* Charlie has really become the happiest baby.  I know I've said this in earlier posts, but it bears repeating.  He smiles, coos, giggles and gafaws (if that's how you spell that).

*  He enjoys sitting up unassisted.  And even if he can only do so for a few seconds at a time he loves it.  Seriously, the kid pulls himself up to erect from a reclinig position.  At this rate he will have a six pack by the aforesaid first birthday party.  Maybe we should do a beach theme so he can show off his washboard abs. ;)

*  Speaking of muscles, it appears that Charlie has freakish strength like big brother, Beau.  The other day Billy screamed for me to come quick to see what Charlie was doing.  When I came in he was in his exersaucer and had both hands on one of the attached toys.  He was shaking the toy and trying his darnedest to rip it off the platform.  Guess what?  He managed to loosen the toy to where it was literally hanging from a thread!  I intervened before he ripped it off completely.  (On a side note, Beau did this to another toy on the exesaucer...but not until he was about six months old.) 

*  And while we're on the topic of the exersaucer, I thought it would be interesting to note that Charlie started in that contraption on the middle setting.  In other words, he was too tall/long to start out at the first level.  I can't wait until our four month appointment to see how much he has grown.

*  While he is devilishly handsome, he's still pretty bald.  I'm not particularly concerned because Beau was in the same boat at this age and look at that moptop now!  However, I am dying to know what color his hair will be.  Somedays it's brown.  Other days it looks blonde.  And still others it looks red!  I guess only time will tell.  One thing is for certain...he's got some gorgeous baby blues...for now. 

Have I mentioned how much he loves the fan?

Mommy's Project 52:2 Silly

When you have a nearly two year old energetic boy in your house, what isn't silly?  Beau's little personality has really taken form and it turns out that he is a big old ham.  (I wonder where he gets that...certainly not me.) 

I knew that one of the joys of being a parent was witnessing daily the completely uninhibited behavior of a joyful child.  What I didn't know was that it would give me an excuse to display my silly side as well.  I love to sing out loud and dance like a fool.  And guess what?  Beau seems to like my performances.  (And when he doesn't he is sure to tell me.) 

So what has been super silly lately? 

*  Beau does this spinning on his belly thingy in the bathtub and in his mobile art studio (which, by the way, has seen better days). 

*  He loves to dance, even when there is no music. 

*  He still thinks it is hilarious to offer you a piece of his toast/apple/tomato and then pull it away right as you are about to bite down on it. 

*  He also finds it funny to smear his food on his face...just when you think he's wiping his mouth clean. 

*  He *loves* the fan.  LOVES it.

*  He likes to sneak up on me while I'm in the shower and jump in. 

*He's rediscovered all his old toys and is not about to give them up to Charlie...at least not completely. 

* Whether in the tub or outside, few things are funnier than emptying water out of a cup.  Emptying water out of the cup and on to mommy or Charlie is one of those few things. 

* Tickling Charlie is a new past time and if he can illicit a giggle from his little brother, well then it has truly been a success. 

Music to My Ears

Beau has always been a talker...even if only Billy and I can understand what he is saying!  And, like most kids his first word was, "dada."  Dada was quickly followed by Paw Paw.  Then Maw Maw.  And in no particular order, Nan, Bone, Dee Dee, Izzy, Rob, Marc, and Charlie.  Hmmmm...notice anyone missing from this list?  Yea, mommy.  Gee, thanks, Beau. 

Sure, there were occasions when he would say, Maaaaa maaaaa, in a sad pitiful voice. But usually this was saved for times when he was really really tired or sick.  While it made me feel good to know he trusted me in these vunerable times, it sure would be nice if he called out my name when it was playtime. 

But recently he has had a change of heart.  Ahhhhh...it appears that he has a new favorite word.  A word that he screams out when he comes home from school...a word he calls out as soon as he wakes up...a name that he whispers while he sits in my lap watching Toy Story.  Beau's new favorite word???

Stroke of genius

Recently Beau has become a little preschool Picaso...a toddler Thiebaud...a daycare Dali.  In other words, he's obssesed with art.  And his medium of choice?  Why crayons, of course.  I was pretty laid back with his coloring, giving him a blank pad of paper and a couple of coloring books.  And then he thought the window sill and sunroom wall could use a splash of color...purple to be exact. 

Well I couldn't see myself repeatedly cleaning up a crayola mess and when I made Beau help clean up...he actually enjoyed it.  Only Beau would find a way to make his punishment enjoyable.  Sheesh. 

Then I had an idea.  The amazon box that I had forgotten to throw away!  I dumped Beau's crayons and papers in the box.  Then - PLOP - in went Beau.  I instructed him to color on the papers and the box itself.  Guess what?  It worked!  He LOVES this new invention.  He loves that he can color in the box.  He loves that he can color on the box.  He loves that I can pull it into any room of the house and he color in my good company.  We've affectionately dubbed it - Beau's Mobile Art Studio. 

You know, every once in a while I get this stuff right. 

**Bonus points for anyone who recognized the pun in the title...(I know Rebecca did.)*

Moving on up!

Today was Beau's first day in the two year old classroom at MLS, otherwise known as "the big boy" classroom.  In the big boy classroom you wear a uniform shirt.  You get to play with playdoh.  And you get stickers for good behavior.  All in all, it's just SOOOO much more sophisticated than the one year old class. (*wink, wink, nod, nod*)



SO grown up in his uniform shirt. 

 While Beau has a new teacher, Ms. Bobbie, there are some familiar faces there too. He was actually very excited to go to school this morning and when he walked into the classroom he never even turned around to see if I was still there. *sigh* Guess that's better than the alternative!

 

"Yes, I have been a good boy.  Thanks for the sticker."



"This seat taken?"

 

"Playdoh?  Don't mind if I do."



Buddies - Beau and Braiden

Say what?!

"Jenn Jenn did it." 

Beau, totally selling out his teacher for a fat lip he received when he ran into the bookcase at school.  Tsk, tsk.

So Long, Farewell!

Today is Beau's last day in the one year old classroom at My Little Sprout.  It is a little bittersweet.  I'm so happy that he is moving on to the "big boy" classroom.  But we'll truly miss Ms. Jennifer and Ms. Deborah. 

A little token of Beau's affection to his very first teachers. 

Ms. Jenn Jenn - We'll miss you!
(More on Beau's fat lip later.) 

Mommy Project 52:1 Teaching

This is the first of the 52 weekly entries for Mommy Project 52.  In trying to figure out what to write my mind first went to teaching the boys.  Seems obvious, right?  I mean, everyday, every moment becomes a teachable moment.  But then I thought about how much I've been taught through both pregnancies and raising the boys, so far. 

I've learned...

*  It is possible to love someone more than anything else in the world before you ever meet him. 

*  I can throw up two to three times a day, and still gain nine pounds in nine weeks. 
*  Stretch marks have more to do with good genes than anything else. (Thank you, mom!) 
*  Sleep deprivation can make anything seem funny...including projectile poop at 3:00 a.m. 

*  My husband is an even better man than I thought he was when we married. 

*  If you turn your head for even one minute, your three month old becomes a perfect canvas for your twenty-one month old's sticker art.  . 

*  No matter how cool the toy is, the best part of the present is always the box it came in. 

*  Nothing can quite prepare you for that first dirty diaper after your child starts solids. 

*  Daycare teachers are underpaid and underappreciated. 

*  Be careful what you say and do; your child is the greatest mimic. 

*  Knowing that one kiss from mommy can heal any boo boo makes me feel like Wonder Woman. 

*  Save your money on baby food cookbooks.  Every recipe is as follows - chop, steam, puree. 

*  If your friends give your one year old a box of percussion instruments for his birthday, either they do not have kids or you've done something to piss them off. 

*  Every chid is different and mine are polar opposites.

*  Bedtime might be my favorite part of the day. 

*  Little boy kisses are the best - even the big, wet, open mouth ones.  (Yikes, that doesn't sound quite right...but you know what I mean.) 

*  As much unsolicited advice as you receive when you are pregnant, you actually receive more when you are a parent. 

*  That being said, most advice-givers are generally good intentioned.  As such, it is best to smile and say thank you and to resist the urge to punch them in the throat. 

*  Sleep deprivation can also make you kind of snarky.  (See above.)

*  The laundry can wait.  The dishes can wait.  My little boy wants to dance to The Backyardigans...priorities, priorities. 
*  The only thing stronger than Catholic guilt?  Mommy guilt. 

 *  Nothing is more challenging, more frustrating, more exhausting, or more rewarding than being a mommy.